WIRC Bulletin - January 2019

Happiness is a matter of choice

Happiness is a matter of choice

CMA (Dr.) S K Gupta –   Contact: 9810162341   E- Mail: [email protected]

In fact, choosing to be happy is one of the very few essential decisions that we get to keep regardless of age, stage of life, or present situation. It’s a decision that can’t be taken away, and no one else can make it for you. Each one of us gets to choose, every single moment of every day, whether or not we decide to be happy. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you handle it.” We can’t change our past, we can’t change people’s actions and we also can’t change what is bound to happen. What we CAN do is always react and handle every situation to the best of our ability.

“The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice.”

Yes, pursuit of happiness is a choice. It is a positive attitude we choose to express. It is not a gift delivered to our door each morning, nor does it come through the window. We have got the choice on how we want to live our life. It doesn’t really matter the circumstances in our life, we have still got the choice to live an unhappy life, at the mercy of our emotions, events etc., which could be quite miserable sometimes, or we can choose to live a happy life, be a happy person, whatever the circumstances are, the choice is ours.

Nothing will make us Happy until we choose to be Happy!

The empowered happiness mindset is set on the principle that despite the things that happen to us or whatever dire circumstances we might be in today, we can still be happy. At the end of the day, it’s all about making a decision, the right one, if we don’t choose to be a happy person, it’s like indirectly we have made a decision to be a person that doesn’t give importance to happiness, therefore, the moments of happiness might not be many. Happiness is a kind of choice that we make and create for ourselves. It is not something that depends on other people or getting their approval.

 What Is Happiness?

 This is something that has been debated for thousands of years. The ancient Greeks thought that happiness was composed of two parts, Hedonia or pleasure, and Eudaimonia or meaning. Positive psychologists have added another component to the Greek definition of happiness which they call engagement which is sometimes referred to as flow. In his 2002 book Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman proposed three ‘orientations’ of being happy, or three kinds of happiness: pleasure, engagement, and meaning. Combining these 3 kinds of happiness psychologists have created a scientific term for happiness called subjective-well being, which is a combination of pleasure, meaning, and engagement. It is also something that they can actually measure. Happiness is when what you think, what you say and 
what you do are in harmony.

We can start to be happy any moment we want, all we need to do is make a decision, choose to be happy, write it down on paper in capitals: “I decide I want to be happy”, “from now on I am going to be happy person, no matter what”. It’s important to acknowledge that life is a journey, a journey that can provide us with joy. And, realize that the journey doesn’t include just high moments, there are also challenges along the way.  Happiness is the choice that can change everything! Far beyond what you can imagine.

It pays to be happy

When we choose to be happy, the rewards are truly great. First and foremost, happy people are more likable and desirable to be around. Isn’t it amazing how we’re drawn to people with sunny dispositions? One of the many consequences of this phenomenon of human nature is that happy people regularly benefit from the enthusiastic help and cooperation of others. Secondly, happy people consistently report an improved quality of life. They enjoy life and everything in it more than people who aren’t happy.

Happy people do better at work

There is now plenty of research that supports the argument that happy people are more professionally successful. For example, intelligence only accounts for 25 percent of workplace success, while optimism and the ability to see stress as a challenge rounds out the other 75 percent.

Happiness not a destination , It Is a journey

Today we tend to view our happiness as something that happened in the past, or something that is going to happen in the future. People spend most of their time celebrating the past or trying to achieve something in the future. They view happiness as a destination. Something to achieve. They forget is that they are living in the present.

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” — Sydney J. Harris

Once we have made the decision to be a happy person, then we need to do whatever it takes to be happy. Happiness is a journey. It’s a bit like when we start a fire, if we don’t fan the fire, the fire at one point will die. So once we have turned our happiness on, which I like to think of as a candle, we need to keep it on, otherwise, it will die, this is something we will see in the next few steps.

In reality, the level of our life’s happiness has nothing to do with the things that other people say or do, even if we feel like it. Happiness is not something that we capture through the affirmation or actions of others. We can be inspired by others, but Happiness comes from within.

Happiness is not being happy all the time

Research shows that happiness is not the result of being happy all the time.They have found that almost all happy people still experience times of sadness. Their level of happiness can and does change in response to life events, but it almost always returns to a baseline level or set-point that they maintain over time.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. ” —  Carl Jung

 Guru Mantras for happiness

  • Sukhi Ram vs. Dukhi Ram – it’s your choice
  • Intend to Be HappyThis is the fully conscious decision to choose happiness over unhappiness
  • Happy first. Successful second – Many of us get the happiness equation wrong. We believe that we must work hard to become successful, make lots of money, get a big title and then, only then, will we be happy. It simply isn’t true
  • Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections
  • Life is too short to be miserable
  • KFP vs. BFP ( Kya Pharak Padta hai / Bahut Pharak Padta hai ) distinguish between situations and act
  • Happiness is reality minus expectations
  • Positive attitude –  When you think you deserve a happy life, you open yourself to have one
  • Meditate – 15 minutes dedicated to quiet introspection and meditation at the start of a day works wonders
  • If you want to truly live a happy life, the most important thing you need to have is a great, positive attitude
  • Happiness audit – you need to sit back, relax and ask yourself: what am I running for and am I doing justice to myself and my family?
  • Instead of focusing on how much further you have to go, think about how far you have come.
  • Get in touch with the child within you – instead of holding grudges and negativity within we must remain joyful and always focus on brighter side of things
  • Respond, don’t react.
  • Live in forgiveness – if a grudge is interfering with your joy of life, then it requires your loving attention
  • Respect yourself – have a sense of honor and dignity about yourself
  • Design your life – a life of fulfillment and joy
  • Learn to love, what you do for living.
  • Get along well with people.
  • Do not work hard, work smarter.
  • Remember -Good or bad…, it shall pass – Time does not remain the same for ever
  • When angry count ten before you speak . If very angry count hundred.
  • Carefully evaluate ROTI ( Return on Time invested )
  • Sharpen the saw – update your skills to stay competitive
  • Cultivate the habit of honesty.
  • Enjoy nature – Allow the peace and solitude of nature to give you comfort to combat your stress and anxiety.
  • Be creative – creativity keeps you longing for more
  • Never Lose HopeFind peace in your heart through nature’s strength to shine on and create another day
  • Failure is another opportunity to more intelligently begin again.
  • De panga, le panga. ( if you maintain cool and stay away from panga , you will be happier )
  • Instant Coffee, ‘YES /  Instant Success ‘NO
  • Live in the moment – Don’t worry about the things you can’t control or the events that haven’t occurred.

Practice your way to happiness

Once you choose to be happy, you must work on it .Writing out an action plan improves your level of change readiness. Take time to write down why you’re making this effort: “I can see the advantages of making this change will be ….” This will solidify your beliefs about why the effort will be worth it in the long run. Next, increase your optimism about being able to achieve your goal by writing out, “I feel hopeful about being able to make this change because I have the following strengths that I’ve used to be successful in the past ….” This will give you good feelings about your ability to make the change.
Finally, write about why now: “I am ready for this change to happen at this time because ….” What are the factors that support making a change right now? Who will encourage you? What resources do you have available that could help you? How will you reinforce your daily efforts to put your new behavior into action? Post your plan somewhere that you will read it every day, e.g. your bathroom mirror.

Conclusion

 “Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.” – Ralph Marston.If you make happiness a priority, you begin to create recurring thought patterns (aka, beliefs). Practice of prioritizing happiness would lead you to believe that:

  • Happiness is within my control, because it comes through me and not to me. Nobody else, nothing else, is responsible for the happiness I experience.
  • I can choose to see the gifts I’ve been given, regardless and because of the darkness I’ve faced.
  • Happiness is more readily available in the moments I trade my expectations for appreciation.
  • Happiness only chooses me when I first choose it.

 

 

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